family.

I told my mom yesterday.. and I saw this coming I just wasn't sure how I would feel about it.

I am completely in love with a man who has chosen a career in the Air Force. Some would say that I chose this lifestyle, or that this is the lifestyle that I want. I'm not sure that I can completely agree with that. I feel in love with a man who is completely wonderful. Who cherishes the time we get to spend together, who cares so deeply about my feelings and my desires, who has such an inspiring love for the Lord, and who puts me before himself every day. HE CHOOSE a career in the Air Force over four years ago, and it is because of that career that we meet. Yes I fell in love with him and because of that I "choose" this lifestyle. I would prefer to believe that I accepted this lifestyle because of who I fell in love with. Nevertheless, I don't hate the lifestyle, but I don't believe I choose it. Now his career is sending him to England for three years, and he has asked me to go with him. In order to do that we will get married in the near future and begin our lives together in England. I couldn't be more happy to spend the first three years of our marriage in such an amazing part of the world, nor could I be more happy to marry the man I am in love with.

My family on the other hand kindly sees the negatives. They don't want the military life for me. They want me to finish school. They think I'm to young to get married. Over and over again they fill my mind with the negatives.

His family is completely opposite. They are ecstatic for us, they couldn't be more excited about the opportunity we have been given, and they beyond supportive of our marriage.

So as I sit here thinking about all the things I have to get done before we leave, I think about our wedding. Should we have one, where should it be, when should it be, who should be in it? I think about the people who would be attending. If we did it in San Antonio it would be mostly my family and friends. If we did it in Illinois it would be mostly his family and friends. If we did it in Abilene it would be a mix. So let me review this.. my family - completely negative. his family - completely supportive. Please tell me who I want seated in the rows of my wedding ceremony? Sure sounds like a no brainer to me.

I am very thankful for my cousin who daily reminds me that as long as I am happy that is what matters. She has been completely wonderful and 100% supportive throughout this whole thing, and I am blessed that she lives across the living room. I am thankful for my wonderful boyfriend who has let me cry on his shoulder *quite literally* every day since he came home with this amazing news. I am thankful for my brother who calmed me down the day of, and who sweetly gave me his approval. And I am thankful for my dogs.. who stay by my side at all times.

I miss my grandmother dearly. The last two days of tears have been grieving that she is not here during this time. I am not sure what her advice would be, but she would love me unconditionally. She would remind me to stay level, and promise that everything will work itself out.
Mama - I can't wait to see you again. Please watch over us and send me reminders of how precious our relationship was.

I'm off to bake a cake that my grandmother always made.. seems appropriate.